Custody Of Children -When The Court Day Arrives

5 Things You Must Do And 10 Things You Should Never Do

It is finally your day in court. The world is about to find out how righteous you are and what a (______) your ex is. Every thing you’ve worked for and hopped for is about to come true today – or is it?

The judge doesn’t know either of you and has seen this all too many times before. You two aren’t the real reason the judge is sitting there, the children are. Your attorney is good, but let’s assume your ex’s attorney is at least equally good. All the judge gets is this exposure to decide the future of your children. Do you believe that you are really ready? Do you realize that the outcome of today’s hearing will affect you and your children for years and years? Now tell yourself again that you are really ready!

There are 5 things you must do to prepare yourself for this all important day in court and 10 things you must never do. Do you have the slightest idea what they are?

5 Things You Must Do To Succeed In Court

1. Study the local court rules and state custody laws. Remember, it is your life but in court you are the outsider. There are too many of these cases and not enough time to review them. Applying the rules and laws fairly attempts to bring order out of the daily chaos. The court will lean on these items unless you can show why another solution is required.

2. Realize that appearances count. You are both strangers to the court. Dress appropriately, conduct yourself properly, and be well prepared. These efforts will be recognized by the court as signs of respect, courtesy, and maturity.

3. Understand that the judge is a god. Have you ever sat down in the boss’s office and had a conversation about work? Doesn’t it seem that the entire room slants downhill towards you? If your boss is a small deity in his/her office, then the judge is all powerful in the court room. The mediator or other expert witness is a small deity on their own. This is their world and you are just a visitor, don’t lose your self control.

4. Always take the high road. The judge knows that you don’t like each other. Have proof of any claims or charges and keep the focus on the children’s welfare.

5. Accept that this day in court maybe forever. Don’t believe that future modifications can resolve problems. They may, if they ever happen. The courts are busy and attorneys cost money. The time lost because of a poor outcome cannot be refunded.

10 Things You Must Never Do In Court

1. Don’t lose contact with your children. You must maintain the relationship no matter how difficult distance and schedule problems make this. During the separation one parent will be remote from the family unit. A lack of frequent contact may be viewed as a lack of interest on commitment by the court.

2. Don’t lose your involvement in the children’s daily lives. Friends, teachers, coaches, and doctors must all be aware of both parents. This isn’t just about the court. Children need to see their parents as parents in their everyday life.

3. Don’t miss dates and requests from the court, mediator, and attorneys. Failure just delays the process and costs more money. The lack of respect and concern that you display causes everyone one in the legal system to question you and your commitment.

4. Don’t resist therapy. The mediator may use sessions to evaluate the relationship and bond you share with the children.

5. Don’t lie, equivocate, exaggerate, or misstate! It is always so much easier to remember the truth and to document it. Employment records, debts, and assets can all be found. No judge or attorney likes being lied to!

6. Don’t lose your self control. Your behavior is now a matter of public record at all times. A single unfortunate incident in front of a witness can end up in court records. This is not a pleasant time for you, but the stakes couldn’t be higher.

7. Don’t be passive. If an expert’s, attorney’s, or judge’s actions concern you; speak to your attorney now! Tomorrow may never come if you let a mistake go unchallenged.

8. Don’t let bad situations go on indefinitely. You are the adult. Show the court and your children that you can be counted on.

9. Don’t let the working relationship with the other parent worsen. It is the children who must not suffer needlessly. Maintaining a level of cooperation allows the children to feel secure during this difficult time.

10. Don’t allow confrontation to over come all your efforts. The other parent is not your favorite person, but guess what, you aren’t there’s either. Confrontation always has consequences to you and the children. Now is not the time to win a meaningless battle.

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Comments

  1. Wohh just what I was looking for, thankyou for posting .

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